Self Esteem and Self Development

post natal depression psychologist

Self esteem starts with attachment.

An article by Northern Beaches Psychologist, Leanne Carter.

Can you say, out loud and wholeheartedly – “I am enough”? It seems like such a simple phrase, only three small words, yet it is one of the most difficult statements that individuals struggle to verbalise. And verbalising is just the first step, the more important part is believing it.

We all have good days and bad days.

We all have our good days when things just seem to fall into place, and you are feeling fine and looking good. Then we have our bad days when anything and everything goes wrong and we don’t feel like we are winning at life. It will be on those bad days that our inner critic, the voice that tells you that “you are not good enough” rears its ugly head (or voice box!).

Suddenly you are covered in the “I am NOT enough” blanket and you can’t seem to shake it, no matter how hard you try.

Your inner critic.

We all have that inner critic, it is part of the human condition, yet some people are better at talking back to it.

Why are some people able to shake it off, and have a healthy dialogue with that voice? It all depends on our upbringing and if we had healthy attachment relationships with our caregivers.

Secure attachment and connection in our early years will set up the dynamic of trust in relationships and harness a sense of safety and belonging.

These elements are important for an individual to form a solid and secure base, a strong root from which their identity, self-worth, and compassion will grow.

This is the birthplace of the “I am enough” mantra! If we feel loved and cared for, seen and heard, then we will develop the sense that I am worthy of love and connection.

Life does not start out fair for everyone.

Unfortunately, not all of us are lucky enough to have a healthy and safe start to life. Adversity and trauma, instability and life circumstances can impact our upbringing. Life does not start out fair for everyone. Yet as young children, we must continue to grow, move on and develop. We have no other choice! We have to deal with what life throws at us, with what resources we have at the time. It is often only later in life, particularly once we have children ourselves, that we reflect and see that perhaps things weren’t as good as we remembered.

Counselling can examine core beliefs.

This is where counseling can help you to explore your attachment patterns, and examine the core beliefs that were developed from that childhood perspective. To form an assertive relationship with that inner critic, to develop the skills to talk back to it and not buy into its unhelpful thoughts. The goal of working towards a self-compassionate and nurturing sense of self, one that is worthy of love and connection.

More information

For more information about treating self esteem issues and encouraging healthy self development, contact psychologist Leanne Cater directly.

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Suite 9, 2A Redman Road
Dee Why NSW 2099
Northern Beaches Sydney

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About Balanced Psychology and Counselling Northern Beaches

At Balanced Psychology, we believe that you and your concerns are unique and therefore tailor our assessments and interventions to suit your individual specific needs. Leanne Cater, is a fully registered Northern Beaches psychologist and has been registered with the Psychology Board of Australia since 2006. She is also a member of the Australian Association of Psychologists Inc (APPi), a governing body that is committed to maintaining the standard and reputation of the psychology discipline and profession in Australia. Over her career, Leanne has worked in numerous settings including hospitals, community mental health centres and within the correctional system.

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