Supporting someone with an addiction can be hard.
An article by Northern Beaches Psychologist, Leanne Carter.
Who am I responsible for?
Who am I responsible for? This is not a trick question, yet it can be difficult to answer.
We form many different attachments and relationships during our life span. Some may be simple, and others can be toxic. Part of the human condition is to connect and bond with others, for survival and pleasure. The dynamics of human relationships are complex, each person trying to determine if their needs are being met and if they are satisfied with the interaction.
Sometimes, if we are not satisfied, we try to change the other person to get our needs met or to make the relationship better.
Trying to change another person often leads to arguments, resentment and failure. Yet, at times, we continue this path, again looking outwards in order for things to improve.
The person you are responsible for is the one staring back in the mirror.
So back to the question at hand, who am I responsible for? It is not the other person in the relationship (insert name of mother, partner, child, work colleague). The person you are responsible for is the one staring back at you in the mirror. You are responsible for YOU and you only! This can be a hard pill to swallow for some, but thought-provoking and empowering, nonetheless.
This is important to remember when the ones we love are faced with alcohol or drug issues.
Supporting someone with addiction problems can be hard.
Addictions not only ruin the individual who is using, but it often destroys their relationships as well.
As a person looking in, witnessing someone going through addiction problems, it can be easy to want to take responsibility and help solve the problems for the other person. This makes sense, the person who is drinking too much or using drugs is incapacitated, and their judgement can be impaired, so they will need help.
Supporting someone who has an addiction problem can be hard, yet it is crucial to remember that they need to make the change. No matter how hard you might try, that decision needs to come from within and they are the only ones responsible to make changes.
More information
If you need assistance dealing with drug, alcohol and addiction, contact psychologist Leanne Cater. For those supporting a loved one struggling with addiction, contact the Family Drug Support Service on 1300 368 186 or www.fds.org.au.
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About Balanced Psychology and Counselling Northern Beaches
At Balanced Psychology, we believe that you and your concerns are unique and therefore tailor our assessments and interventions to suit your individual specific needs. Leanne Cater, is a fully registered Northern Beaches psychologist and has been registered with the Psychology Board of Australia since 2006. She is also a member of the Australian Association of Psychologists Inc (APPi), a governing body that is committed to maintaining the standard and reputation of the psychology discipline and profession in Australia. Over her career, Leanne has worked in numerous settings including hospitals, community mental health centres and within the correctional system.
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